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“May I help you?” asked the clerk with a nametag on that said “Phil”. “Yes” answered Hugh, “I need some toilet paper for my anus.” “Ok,” replied Phil, “What kind of anus are we talkin’ here?” “Well, it’s a 1983 half Italian, Quarter French, seven thirty seconds Norwegian and one thirty second native American anus.” “Oh, interesting” said Phil. “Is this a huge anus we’re talking about here?” “Well I’m Hugh Jainus,” replied a slightly flustered Hugh Jainus. “But I don’t have a huge anus. It’s just average.” “Well then, I suggest a aloe lotion three ply all natural recycled unscented roll for you average sized 1983 half Italian, Quarter French, seven thirty seconds Norwegian and one thirty second native American anus.” offered a confident Phil. “I think you’ll find it a satisfactory paper for you anus.” “Is that a good paper for an occasional hog slapper?” Inquired Hugh. “I sometimes think about a woman playing a trombone. As he snuggled up to me and put his arms around meI wanted nothing more but to jump his bones right then and there! I kissed him and as he was passionately kissing back, I ran my hands over his body starting at his chest and making my way down his stomach following his trail of hair down to the rim of shorts when his hand met mine. He pulled my hand away from his shorts and brought it back up on his chest and whispered “not now, not like this.” As I rolled over still in his arms right before I drifted to sleep I heard the whisper in my ear “I love you too”.Chapter 2I awoke to his arms still around me and him sleeping peacefully next to me. With a vague remembrance of what happened the night before and my head bounding I slowly crept to the end of the bed to go to the bathroom. As I left the room I stumbled over my cell phone to which I had 5 missed calls. 1 from my father and 4 from Jesse whom had called to let me know she was coming to get me so I could change and head home. I.
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